A Reflection on Graduation

It has now been 5 months since I walked across the stage and received my diploma from Simon Fraser University. I remember the day as if it were yesterday. My Grandparents had flown out to see me graduate and I was so proud to have them in the audience. My closest friends and family came to celebrate the day and I was elated. That morning I went and had my hair done, I had new shoes with a matching purse for the occasion; in many and all ways this day was more significant to me than any other day before that. This was the day I had worked for. This is the day that all the late nights, extra caffeine and heavy backpacks were for. I was very proud.

So my question is, why do I now look at my degree with contempt? Last night I was so angry at that piece of paper I almost took it off of my wall. I still want to take it off of my wall. I still might. These past few weeks I have received my Student Loan repayment papers. I went from a young person with a good job and a few minor credit card payments to a young person overwhelmed with debt. A debt that according to these papers I will be paying off until I reach the tender age of 38. That's right, I'm due to pay my last installment in the year 2022. This can give you an idea of what the final amount is (I don't feel up to displaying this here). I can honestly say that I feel trapped. Just a few months ago I had decided that I would stay at home for an extra year in order to help my Mother out as she's always been there for me and this was my opportunity to give back to her. Now I feel like that choice has been stripped from me. I now have no choice but to live at home. In a city where the cost of living rises on an hourly basis the opportunities for young people are just not there anymore.

My whole life I believed that a degree would bring me opportunities and open doors. Nowadays companies expect more than just a degree. I had always thought that going back to school would be an option for me. Now I can't see how I could possibly go back to school while working and trying to pay back this loan. Taking a second job sounds more like it.

So now when I look at my degree I see it seeped in money that I am drowning in. It's a constant reminder of an overwhelming debt that I have to live with for years and years to come.

This being said, I'm not trying to ignite sympathy from anyone. I just think that by sharing my story people can be more prepared for what's coming to them. I'm also not planning on wallowing in this and becoming defeated. I'll pay this money back and I'll pay back every penny on time because that is how I was brought up. It won't be easy but it's also not impossible. My degree will take me places because I will make it. For now though, it may just need to retire to my closet.